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 "You Don't Send Me Flowers Anymore" Vicki Simmons So often when I am working with couples I hear the same words. "I just do not love him/her the way I use to." These words are many times the words that precede my being told that the person has met someone or has been seeing another person. The script is generally the same "I never meant for this to happen", "it started innocently, we were just friends going to lunch, and the next thing I knew", "Don't let this happen to you. Start today with finding and creating ways to connect with your spouse. If you have gotten out of the habit of thinking about your wife/husband throughout the day then take some intentional steps toward building in opportunities for re imagining him/her the way you would like to be in relationship again. Save a picture to your computer for a new background or screensaver. Type a scrolling message that helps you to reflect on a particularly fun loving romantic exciting moment. Change your password on your computer to enable you to re train your brain for romance. Perhaps your password could be a message that simply says ilovemywife or ilovemyhusband. At one time in our marriage my husband was working 16 hours day, traveling 2 hours, and sleeping the remaining 5 or 6. Fortunately for our marriage this was short lived and we both knew there was an end in sight. He would be running on exhaustion and needing a pick me up. He came up with the idea to use my name as his password to unlock his screensaver. This went against all security rules, however, for that short period of time he said to heck with the rules. When he would type in my name, he would pause to think about me and it would give him and extra boost of energy. Guess what, it gave me a boost of energy, too! Knowing that he was being intentional and taking time to think about me when he had the candle burning at both ends, made me feel special. He doesn't send me flowers the way he did when he courted me but he thinks about me many times during the day. Psst! Don't tell him but I changed his computer settings so that his screensaver would come on every 30 seconds that the machine sat idle.
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